Need Following changes made to attached paper. Positive Feedback 1. Good organization 2. Clear position on globalization throughout the essay 3. Good works cited page 4. Good opposition/refutation paragraph Constructive Criticism / Writing Tips 1. Your claim sounds more like an analysis thesis statement than an argument claim. Make your claim clear. 2. You have cited your research at the end of your paragraphs in many places. Remember that research goes in the middle of a paragraph because it A) supports your main ideas, and B) needs your analysis of the information. Follow this formula for each body paragraph in the confirmation section: a. Topic Sentence (state one reason in favour of the position you are arguing) b. Supporting detail (state one piece of evidence from your research, such as statistics, quotes from authorities, etc…) c. Analysis of supporting detail (explain of how the supporting detail supports the reason mentioned in the topic sentence as well as how it supports the claim) d. Use more supporting details and analysis if necessary e. Concluding sentence (carefully transition to the next idea) 3. Remember to use direct quotes more so than paraphrasing to show exactly what the research has to offer.

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