This is my supervisor comments on the literature review section, please try to edited accordingly and to meet the reseach questions and hypothesis.
Concerning the Literature review:
Internal Reviewer: “The literature review is sometimes pertinent but also at times rather irrelevant and it is in any case far too repetitious. It needs to be drastically slimmed down and rendered strictly relevant to the research topic.”
Concerning the Research design.
Internal Reviewer: “Here I meant that the research design is reasonable enough although the specific pilot study chosen needs more defence. However the section is far too repetitious and long.
More globally the Internal Reviewer thinks that you should do more that “address simply by taking the negative comments and addressing them. The thesis as it is written is … repetitious and it is also logically incoherent in structure.”
He adds: “She really would do better to scrap entirely what she has written and start from zero to write the thesis again in a coherent and concise manner. If all she does is simply to add a few responses to negative points raised by the examiners we will end up with an even longer mishmash which I would certainly fail for incoherence and repetition.”
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